The Perfect Date...I Mean Black Pants!

Earlier today, I listened as a single friend told about her male friend's dating checklist. I couldn't help but think of that weirdly soothing pitchman for e-Harmony. Dr. Neil Clark Warren, founder of the dating website, applied over 35 years as a clinical psychologist and marriage counselor in developing his theory that a laundry list of characteristics can be used to predict compatibility and success in relationships. My friend complained this approach took all the fun out of dating and the discovery process. I would have to agree.

Meeting new people, whether they be potential romantic partners, friends, business associates, or dates, is like unwrapping a gift. Sometimes, we gingerly untie the ribbon and detach the beautiful paper from the box. Other times, we can't wait to rip open the package, especially if wrapped in yesterday's comics. Hmm. At any rate, the fun is in the discovery process. What do we have in common? Any fascinating stories? Chemistry?

Once we lay it all on the line in some computerized inventory, we lose the whole process. Developing relationships shouldn't involve resumes, CV's, and a human resource search.

It's kind of like shopping at the outlet mall or Loehmann's. When you go in looking for that perfect pair of black pants or a white blouse, we probably won't find it. When you least expect it, you'll find that adorable Tory Burch gilded sheath dress which would be perfect to wear to your next cocktail party!

So, single folks, listen up! Put down the mouse! Get out of the house and talk to three strangers today. You never know where you will find a treasure! And the fun is sometimes in the discovery!

The Cougar of Kuala Lampur

107 year old MMF seeks much younger man for marriage and companionship. Drug addicts in or out of recovery need not apply.

Wook Kundor is on the prowl so watch out, men of Malaysia! This wrinkled faced centenarian fears she "doesn't have the body nor am I a young woman who could attract anyone." Personally, I am impressed she is even thinking about dating and guys as she is well past the point where she blew out 100 candles on her birthday cake!

Her current husband, seventy years her junior, is currently in rehab and she fears he'll leave her for a younger woman once his program ends. Considering 99.9% of the female population is younger than Wook, she may have a point! The playing field is wide open, although I am not sure a guy just out of recovery is a good match for anyone! Shouldn't he be working on his own stuff before he hooks up with someone else? But that's another story...

I find myself rooting for Wook. She is like the ultimate cougar! Meow

More, More....

Ah, the pleasures of summer. Blueberries, corn on the cob, that juicy peach. And bad reality television which constantly reinvents itself. (Of course, some credit must be given to the creators of reality tv.)

Mike Fleiss, creator of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, has given us a new dating competition show. According to the Fox-TV website, More to Love follows "one regular guy's search for love among a group of real women determined to prove that love comes in all shapes and sizes." Well, bachelor Luke Conley is a 6'3" and over 300 pounds. Casting calls for these "voluptuous" and "full figured" ladies were held at national Lane Bryant plus sized boutiques. But, the point is well-taken.

I watched the premiere with some hesitation, especially when I read each girl's weight would be printed below their names. Yikes! I wondered if this was their "driver's license" weight or whether they stepped on a scale off camera. Really. Do they display the IQ's of the model/actress types as they emerge from the limo on The Bachelor? Okay, that was mean. But, why the constant focus on how much these folks weigh? Luke is described as a "former college football offensive lineman..." Is that code word for "What's your excuse?"

More than a handful of these curvy women cried about their lack of dates. I have watched enough reality shows and know enough single women to know this is a common complaint. However, some of these women have never even been on a first date, let alone made it to "round two." I wonder, in real life, if their desperation and lack of self esteem were more of a turn off than their appearance. The fairly constant stream of tears and "pity party" atmosphere at first engendered empathy. However, this could quickly turn the corner to annoying, especially peppered with discernible self-deprecation, as when Danielle referenced looking like a "beached whale" after jumping into the pool in her evening gown.

In lieu of the rose ceremony, these women are asked if they would "do the honour" of wearing Luke's "promise" ring. When he sends five girls packing at episode end, they are asked to return the ring. Pretty harsh. And all that talk about the "Luke" sandwich. Gag! Luke reminds me of nursery rhyme's Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie, kissed the girls and made them cry. In a smarmy pick up line approach, Luke asked one girl, Malissa, how to say "kiss" in Spanish. When she responded, he said, "Why don't you show me?" Pretty creepy but she complied. He asked for another "beso" after telling her about the elimination round. Is that a threat of a promise? She ended up in the final 15.

As I watched the women competing and hoping for a chance to make it to the next episode, I thought about junior high P.E. class. Remember the nonathletic kids who were left praying someone would pick them for the kickball team? I am sure some of these girls are athletic. There is even a personal trainer in the bunch. But, the whole scenario of seemingly desperate, needy women pining for a real estate developer from Santa Maria is a hard pill to swallow.

I think I will stick with "NYC Prep!"

Kelly Times Two

Kelly Hildebrandt and Kelly Hildebrandt will wed in October. No, this is not a typo.

Female Kelly Hildebrandt of Coral Springs, Florida talks about searching in Facebook, "I searched my own name and he's the only one who came up and actually in the picture he didn't have a shirt on and I was like oh he's cute." Her future fiance flew from his home to Lubbock, Texas and the rest is history. Apparently, their shared has caused some confusion at the post office. At least if they won't need to change their monogrammed stationary or towels.

Most of us have Googled ourselves upon occasion or perhaps even checked to see if anyone on Facebook shared our names. I have never really considered the implications for single folks looking for a relationship. Could the desire to marry oneself be construed as narcissistic? Perhaps instead of e-Harmony or J-date, someone could come up with Ego-Harmony or Self-Date? Maybe the search for single people who shared names could be the subject of a new dating reality show? There's a new plus-sized dating show on Fox called "More to Love." Why not "Shared Name Love?"

This is the epitome of "meet cute" for the computer age! I could go on and on but I need to watch "The Bachelorette"!