Recently, I came across some rather curious products while searching online. Depending on your point of view, these items may be hysterically funny, a sign of our times, or downright disturbing. I'd be interested to hear your take. All three of these items speak to our societal need to rush through childhood only to arrive at middle age and hit that brick wall.
The first item is Heelarious described on the company website as "soft crib shoes designed to look like high heels." These shoes came to be when two childhood BFF's, Britta Bacon and Hayden Porter, became business partners. Hayden is a high heel obsessed girl after my own heart. Her pal Britta seems to be more of the flat type. Note that this is not my intent to put down her personality, just her shoe type. At any rate, on her way to her daughter's 4th birthday party, she looked back at her daughter's babyhood, something all of us moms tend to do. Her brain cells seemingly crossed wires with thoughts of her friend's shoe obsession and Heelarious was born.
Retailing at $34.50, these faux shoes come in hot pink, red, pink satin, leopard, and a baby pink satin version complete with peep toe. They all feature really cute linings. The latest generation are cowboy boots, complete with spurs, available in black and in pink. I am curious to see that all black pump versions are about to be retired. Shoe rule Number One. When in doubt, buy black. Maybe shoppers fear dressing infants in black. I am waiting for the red soled version or maybe a nice Chanel style cap toe.
These shoes have been a hit with celebs such as Tori Spelling (surprise!) and have appeared in swag bags at the Oscars and Bravo A-List Awards where Paris and Kim Kardashian picked up a pair.
Obvious by the title of this blog, I, too, am a shoe obsessed girl who would go pretty far for a laugh. However, the mere thought of putting infants in stilettos somewhat bothers me. What next? Chanel bottle covers?
As the mother of a young teen, I am aware of our societal push to"bring sexy back" -- at least in hair, makeup, and style choices seen in fashion mags and in junior departments. Daisy Dukes, Uggs, and copious lipgloss are a common dress choice in junior high. Enough so that I support school uniforms! Are we really ready to bring babies into this mix?
Which leads me to the next product. Berjuan, a Spanish company, has introduced a baby doll which can be nursed, to promote lactation as a lifestyle choice. Now, I was a nursing mom and totally support the practice. However, I am not so sure we need to be showing six and seven year olds how to get their babies to latch on.
Bebe Gloton is currently available only in Spain. The doll comes complete with a halter top/bra contraption with daisies where a woman's breasts would be. The doll makes a crying sound followed by a sucking sound when the mouth device is activated near the floral nipples.
After watching a video demonstration of the doll, one European wrote, 'This toy would never work in the U.S. because the public would sexualize the act of breastfeeding, thereby deeming it inappropriate for little girl to engage in.' Guessing the reviewer has never heard of Heelarious. Culturally, we Americans are torn between our Puritanical heritage and Cinemax Late Night. Interesting.
Why do we try to rush through childhood without even pausing for commercial breaks? (Which are now obsolete thanks to TiVo!) That is, until we get to middle age. "Vogue," "In Style," and the like are filled with ads for cosmetic fillers and costly moisturizers. If we could lose ten pounds in a week while turning back the clock ten years, we would be in nirvana. As we arrive at the credits, we want to rewind. This is not necessarily a bad thing. It is part of life. We reconnect with past friends, reminisce and reflect on our life choices.
Nevertheless, the next trend is remotely creepy. Seems grown women have been spending cash, upwards of $4000, on lifelike baby dolls. Designed for people who "love to hold and nurture babies," for "emotional healing" and "filling a void," all comments I read online. Maybe these women should hold out till Bebe Gloton arrives in the States!
Are we incapable of enjoying each stage of life as it comes? Put the life TiVo on pause and let the kids play outside! Just don't let them wear stilettos to play kickball! And conversely, embrace your actual age! By all means, color your hair, practice yoga and Pilates, slather on that moisturizer! But, don't stress out about turning back the clock.
And if you need to buy one of the above items, I say go with the Heelarious crib shoes. At least they might get a few laughs at a baby shower or make a witty conversation piece decorating your desk!
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