The Sting, 2009

I have always been skeptical about sting operations. Do filmmakers,"the authorities," cops, FBI, CIA, etc. really have so much time on their hands they need to ensnare prospective drug dealers, hookers, and the like? I have always thought these activities better left to Chris Hansen of "Dateline's To Catch a Predator" or Newman and Redford in "The Sting." (At least they were ridiculously handsome but that's another story!)

So, when I read that Fox News was airing a video showing two ACORN employees on a hidden-camera apparently counseling a "pimp and ho" to lie about her involvement in "the oldest profession," my antennae went up! (Hey, get your mind out of the gutter!)

The video was the most recent in a series which led to the firing of four employees of the advocacy group ACORN in Baltimore and D.C. Self-identified activist filmmaker James O'Keefe and Hannah Giles, the directors of this scenario posted on BigGovernment.com, presumably because they are so pained to see "government" helping the little guy?

ACORN spokesman Scott Levenson charges O'Keefe and Giles dubbed over the voices to make the interaction more objectionable. The employees have been suspended pending further investigation.

In the video, O'Keefe and Giles are seen explaining their "unique lifestyle situtation" to acquire housing help. An ACORN administrator answers, "Honesty is not going to get you the house. That's probably why you've been denied."

"Don't say you're a prostitute thing or whatever. ... You have to sit back and think and find another name for it," says the housing coordinator who also suggested burying a tinload of cash in the backyard. An uninvolved friend could transfer the dough as a gift to O'Keefe to pay for the house, the administrator advises. The housing coordinator did have the sense to question the legality of prostitution in the Empire State. Guess we'll have to ask Eliot Spitzer.

In her mentoring capacity, she counseled Giles to "start thinking, and when you're in this business you have to think fast."

"I can't tell you don't do it, because you won't listen to me. ... If you're going to do it, do it well, and start thinking for yourself ... and save for a rainy day."

That is the true American spirit!

BO Ban on Buses?

Body Odor. Public Transportation. These two elements go hand in hand, like peanut butter and jelly. Fries and ketchup. Coffee and cream.

Today, the Honolulu City Council heard a bill in committee seeking to "regulate a number of dangerous and annoying behaviors on city buses" which includes B.O. Authored by Councilmen Rod Tam and Nestor Garcia, the bill would carry up to $500 in fines and a possible jail term of up to six months for these olfactory offenders. The ban would make illegal to have "odors that unreasonably disturb others or interfere with their use of the transit system," regardless if their source is clothes, personal belongings, animals, or presumably armpits.

Now, I have spent many hours on the subways of New York and New Jersey Transit, mid-summer. The malingering aroma of body odor mixed with whatever these folks ate for lunch is enough to turn your stomach. Throw in a couple of flatulent riders and nausea ensues. However, isn't the whole aroma thing part of the experience? Like Starbuck's without the wafting scent of roasted espresso beans or Ray's Original Pizza without the whiff of garlic?

Does anyone remember the Smelly Car episode of Seinfeld when Elaine discovers a parking valet's lingering b.o. in Jerry's BMW? One of the funniest moments of television!

I think I may have a better solution than throwing all these offenders in jail. (And imagine prison guards working with all that body odor around them? They will probably go on strike for unfair working conditions!) Why don't the bus drivers pass out little samples of Secret or Ban? Unscented, of course! Maybe the Renuzit people can invent some kind of bus sanitizer.... Or Public Transit Febreze?

I will be following the outcome of this story. And I am wondering what the other "dangerous and annoying" behaviors entail? What about burping loudly, passing wind, picking one's nose?

And we were worried about the Patriot Act!