(Re) Create Yourself

Life isn't about finding yourself. It is about creating yourself. Perhaps when we reach midlife, we can recreate ourselves. Our forties and beyond can be filled with infinite possiblities. While we may lament the passage of our youth where the path ahead of us seemed endless, we are given second chances throughout our lives. Midlife is all about fine tuning our passions and decluttering our lives of the parts which don't work. Our destinies are not predetermined. We are constantly coming to intersections where we must make hard decisions.

As a child, I invented a game where I would toss a coin as I walked around my neighborhood. Heads, I would turn right; tails, I would turn left. Sometimes, I ended up lost. Other times, I ended up right back where I started. In retrospect, this game represents the first half of my life. I approached many life decisions with a metaphorical coin toss, making choices which looked good on paper. I ignored my gut instinct, often neglecting my passion. I ended up in a lukewarm place, sad that my life seemed mapped out ahead of me. Contemplating, I realize I may have been afraid to pursue my dreams because I had set my expectations so high. I envisioned what could be and was afraid of falling short on my journey or running out of gas.

As I celebrate yet another birthday, I realize life is not about the destination but about the roads we travel to get there. We may experience an occasional flat tire, fender-bender, and gridlock along the way but we need to look at those mishaps as opportunities to learn and grow. We must nurture our relationships with friends who support our authentic selves. Much of our lives may be spent presenting a facade or image. Fulfillment and happiness allude the spirit behind the that mask. When we invent or reinvent whom we truly are, we welcome passion back in our lives.

Midlife is not the on-ramp towards our destiny but the start of another journey. "This could be the start of something big." If not, "Ilsa, we will always have Paris."