Monday night's 11:00 pm news featured a rather interesting story about a 41-old Ohio man arrested for misdemeanor public indecency and menacing. At the time of his arrest, he was wearing a green ladies' one-piece swimsuit, socks, and boots. Apparently, twenty folks were so disturbed when he asked their opinion of his ensemble, they filed official complaints with the local police department. I must admit, his bright green maillot was quite appalling, evocative of the cover of my Jane Fonda Low Impact video, circa 1980. All he was missing was a headband and some legwarmers. He wore a bra underneath to give him some uplift. The copius chest and leg hair added a rather whimsical touch.
Swimsuit season is upon us. My curiosity was piqued. I wondered, if I were to ask a random twenty people poolside what they thought of my swimsuit, might I risk getting arrested? If I miss my waxing appointment or fail to use self-tanner on my legs, will I get charged with public indecency? What if I go so far as to buy a two-piece? Perhaps, I will have to spend the next few years in prison, eating gruel and wearing an oversized orange jumpsuit with workboots?
I think I will be staying away from pools or the beach this summer. There is just too much at risk!
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