The Cougar of Kuala Lampur

107 year old MMF seeks much younger man for marriage and companionship. Drug addicts in or out of recovery need not apply.

Wook Kundor is on the prowl so watch out, men of Malaysia! This wrinkled faced centenarian fears she "doesn't have the body nor am I a young woman who could attract anyone." Personally, I am impressed she is even thinking about dating and guys as she is well past the point where she blew out 100 candles on her birthday cake!

Her current husband, seventy years her junior, is currently in rehab and she fears he'll leave her for a younger woman once his program ends. Considering 99.9% of the female population is younger than Wook, she may have a point! The playing field is wide open, although I am not sure a guy just out of recovery is a good match for anyone! Shouldn't he be working on his own stuff before he hooks up with someone else? But that's another story...

I find myself rooting for Wook. She is like the ultimate cougar! Meow

Snuggies at Fashion Week, Say It Ain't So!

For anyone who has ever watched informercials, you've seen the Snuggie, that bizarre blanket with sleeves comme sweatsuit designed (and I use the term loosely) for vegging out in front of the tv. To paraphrase Jay Leno, are we Americans getting so fat that we need to wear blankets instead of clothes? I myself am a bit weirded out by the whole concept. Yesterday, I think I saw a woman sporting a Snuggie driving a Smartcar on the 101 Freeway. Crazy.

So, imagine my disdain when I saw Snuggie hosted a show at Fall/Winter Fashion Week in NY! What next? A spread in "Vogue?" I clicked on the story and saw a plethora of animal prints. This doesn't surprise me one bit. Cheetah and zebra prints are like the fashion apex of the Walmart/QVC crowd. (Please pardon my fashionista snobbery.)

And if that wasn't enough, Snuggies for "man's best friend" were also shown on the runway. I have to tell you, my Maltese, Yvette Brigitte Bardot will NOT be sporting a Snuggie this season!

Facebook Lite?

Facebook Lite? Fewer calories, less filling? What is this about? Generally speaking, with the exception of Lite Beer and diet soda, I consider the modifier "Lite" to be a pejorative. Kind of like the Cliff Notes experience vs. reading the original literature. Missing out on the experience in favor of a streamlined version. Don't get me wrong. I spent the better part of my formative years eating "frozen dietary confections," and even did the fat free thing in the early 90s. That was then. "The Skinny: How to Fit into Your Little Black Dress Forever" by Melissa Clark and Robin Aronson changed my life. I am all about LBD's, great food, and an occasional glass of Krug. What this means in real time? Moderation. No faux foods.

What does this have to do with FB Lite? If it ain't broke...

Facebook Lite is a streamlined version of FB designed originally for users in other countries with lower bandwith. Whatever that means.

According to Facebook, Lite could help attract new users. "We have found that people who are new to Facebook tend to be most interested in a simpler experience, and focus on establishing their network of friends and communicating with them by writing on their walls, sending messages, and looking at pictures. We have introduced the Lite site with these new users in mind," the company said in a statement. FB Lite users can post and share videos, photos and events, as well as exchange one-on-one messages.

I am guessing these new users might be senior citizens or people slow to adapt. The kind who use a Go Phone or are Text-phobic. I support any development in communication which brings the outside world to homebound senior and even those who are out and about. "Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!" brings tears to my eyes, evocative of the Native American in headdress from those cheesy environmental PSA's of my youth. My own grandmother used Web TV to e-mail and surf the web in her 90s. And J-Date and similar sites are like the fern bars of the 70s.

That said, I'll be shelving FB Lite like I do lite Mayo, light butter, fat free half and half.... Or as Julia used to say, "If you're afraid of butter, just use cream!"

The Sting, 2009

I have always been skeptical about sting operations. Do filmmakers,"the authorities," cops, FBI, CIA, etc. really have so much time on their hands they need to ensnare prospective drug dealers, hookers, and the like? I have always thought these activities better left to Chris Hansen of "Dateline's To Catch a Predator" or Newman and Redford in "The Sting." (At least they were ridiculously handsome but that's another story!)

So, when I read that Fox News was airing a video showing two ACORN employees on a hidden-camera apparently counseling a "pimp and ho" to lie about her involvement in "the oldest profession," my antennae went up! (Hey, get your mind out of the gutter!)

The video was the most recent in a series which led to the firing of four employees of the advocacy group ACORN in Baltimore and D.C. Self-identified activist filmmaker James O'Keefe and Hannah Giles, the directors of this scenario posted on BigGovernment.com, presumably because they are so pained to see "government" helping the little guy?

ACORN spokesman Scott Levenson charges O'Keefe and Giles dubbed over the voices to make the interaction more objectionable. The employees have been suspended pending further investigation.

In the video, O'Keefe and Giles are seen explaining their "unique lifestyle situtation" to acquire housing help. An ACORN administrator answers, "Honesty is not going to get you the house. That's probably why you've been denied."

"Don't say you're a prostitute thing or whatever. ... You have to sit back and think and find another name for it," says the housing coordinator who also suggested burying a tinload of cash in the backyard. An uninvolved friend could transfer the dough as a gift to O'Keefe to pay for the house, the administrator advises. The housing coordinator did have the sense to question the legality of prostitution in the Empire State. Guess we'll have to ask Eliot Spitzer.

In her mentoring capacity, she counseled Giles to "start thinking, and when you're in this business you have to think fast."

"I can't tell you don't do it, because you won't listen to me. ... If you're going to do it, do it well, and start thinking for yourself ... and save for a rainy day."

That is the true American spirit!

Spanx for Kids?

This morning, my fourth grade daughter and I waited to turn into a traffic circle on our way to school. My mission? To avoid adding to the excessive gridlock and spilling my coffee! Fashion plate daughter, "Wow. Those girls over there are way too fat to wear such short shorts!" P.C. Mom, "They aren't fat, just big boned." I didn't actually say that. But, I did think about self-image, fashion, and the nexus between the two.

You can't pick up a fashion mag or even Oprah's "O" without reading a cover story on Choosing the Right Swimsuit for Your Body Type, How to Dress 10 Pounds Thinner, or some other promise which may or may not involve giving up chocolate and wine for an evening of spot toning. Spanx sucks in our muffin tops, croissant thighs, buns, cupcake tummy. When I just googled body shapers, I found 643,000 websites dedicated to smoothing and shaping your rear with spandex. And it isn't just for women. A website called Go Softwear features a waist eliminator for men, as well as a super padded jock, brief and boxer. What about truth in advertising? Saks is carrying a line of body shapers for men called 2(x)ist. Andrew Christian, a men's undergarment designer whose line is featured at Fred Segal in L.A. is selling the Flashback Butt Lifting Technology Boxer. I have no comment.

As a fashion observer, I can't help but notice all these pre-teens and teens running around in less than flattering outfits. Part of me applauds their devil may care attitude. Why not sport tight leggings or Daisy Dukes with a pair of Ugg's? I have no interest in promoting eating disorders in young girls. I spent my adolescence living on Tab and apples and wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. I am just curious. Is there a certain point when we realize maybe we should abandon the bikini for a one piece? When do we collectively decide to "dress 10 pounds thinner" or choose control top pantyhose? Now, I live in L.A., and realize this does not happen to everyone. I have witnessed enough middle aged plus women displaying cellulite, muffin top, and pouches sporting string bikinis to last me a lifetime. Ditto love-handled men in Speedo's. Thank you, very much.

I am strongly in favor of dressing for your body type. Showcase your best features. If you have great legs, wear heels and a pencil skirt. If your arms are buff and toned, go sleeveless. (Of course, some vendor is now selling a Spanx-like compression garment for arms. Presumably to wear under tight sleeves?) Sweaty, overweight men in tank tops bearing chest and underarm hair? PLEASE PUT ON A T-SHIRT!

There's a fine line between nurturing adolescents' self-esteem and giving them fashion hints. Maybe adolescents' need to fit in and conform by way of Ugg's and Minnetonka boots surpasses the need to look one's best. Part of me is glad to see these teens participating in fashion and not wanting to blend into the background in a pair of lumpy sweats.

I am just hoping no one starts selling Spanx for kids or worse yet, those ridiculous gut sucking boxers!

Punctuation People!

Yesterday, I read one of those teaser stories on my Yahoo homepage about 10 Office Faux Pas or something like that. While I don't currently work in an office, I presumed (correctly) I might find fodder for a humorous blog or at least a few good laughs. I was right.

Don't cook food in the office microwave. Keep your shoes on. Use the vibrating feature of your cellphone. Okay, I wasn't going to go there! I am guessing kids today think they will forever be in the dorm, guzzling beer and playing Nintendo DS...Although the same was probably said of my M-TV watching generation.

One "don't" particularly caught my eye. Overusage of smiley faces. A boss cited a post-grad who filled her cubicle with happy faces. She no longer works there, for presumably unrelated reasons. I find myself wondering if her co-workers were on anti-depressents or in need of serotonin if they were bothered by her obsession with the yellow-faced symbol of my youth. Now, I get the need for professionalism in the workplace, especially in our overly casual culture. Flip flops, low cut sundresses, wrinkled shorts, and non-standard English should be left at the door. We have fallen into a pattern of perpetual casual Fridays. But, a little individuality in the corporate world may not be a bad thing.

I've been thinking about personal e-mails. Those peppered with a few exclamation points show exuberance and enthusiasm for life. Ditto the use of colored fonts. I can do without an excess of emoticons. Once in a while is enough.

So, leave the flip flops at home, maybe cut back on the smiley faces in the workplace, and certainly avoid cooking shrimp scampi in the office microwave...unless you bring enough for everyone!

Fall Shopping!

Fall is in the air. Alright. I live in Southern California and the temperature gauge in my car hasn't dropped below 90 during the day. We are in for a long, not spell, fueled by the Santa Ana's. But, the stores are filled with sweaters; my dog-eared September issues of "Vogue," "In Style," and even "People Style Watch" are as tempting as Ben & Jerry's to a dieter.

You can take the girl out of the East Coast but never the East Coast out of the girl. I've put away my white shoes and white jeans. I have been staring at the space bag filled with sweaters and other fall items which currently resides under my bed. I have adapted to our clime. My "uniform" of sorts is a fitted sheath dress or a pencil skirt and a cardigan. When the weather drops, I'll break out the well-heeled boots.

Yesterday's "Today" show featured fashionista Bobbie Thomas and a report about menswear for women, a resurgent trend which pops up nearly every year. One outfit caught my eye. Crisp white blouse, hot pink v-neck sweater, worn with a great tweed pencil skirt and heels. See, I have never been a fan of menswear in direct translation, except maybe in my high school preppy days. If I am wearing trousers, I will pair them with heels and lots of jewelry.

I'm currently reading "The Gospel According to Coco Chanel" by Karen Karbo, a fabulous read about the designer, the quest for Chanel, and plenty of bons mots. (Can't wait for the L.A. book reading in a few weeks!) Chanel was a master at introducing a touch of menswear influence yet maintaining a beguiling feminine look. Coco was the essence of gamine, with her boyish figure and impish personality. When the corseted, long trained looks of the day didn't suit her, she came up with an alternative.

"Fashion fades; only style remains the same." Chanel was right on the money. Take your part in the stimulus package. You don't need to go overboard with the plaids and liquid leggings. Buy a crisp white blouse. Banana Republic has some great variations. Search your closet for a pencil skirt or a great pair of trousers. Consider breaking up an old suit. Shoulder pads are making a comeback, although not as extreme as "Dynasty." Get thee to a tailor. Add your own style. You will always look stylish but never over the top trendy. You'll look professional and will save money in the long-run.

Happy Shopping!

Of Navy Blazers, Madras, and Espadrilles

Nancy Talbot, co-founder of the eponymous clothing company which features conservative, ladylike fashions, died yesterday from complications of Alzheimer's disease. She was 89.

Fifty plus years ago, Nancy and her husband Rudolf opened their first boutique in Hingham, Massachusetts and started a mail order business one year later, in 1948.

Looking back, I remember buying a gold buttoned navy blazer in the days of
the "Official Preppy Handbook." I had saved up my movie theater concession girl salary to buy the must-have before leaving for Vanderbilt University. Unfortunately, I left the blazer in the student center cafeteria, never to be seen again. Vanderbilt in the eighties was a bastion of preppy attire. Headbands, kilts, cords, and Madras reigned supreme. It is no great shock that some other co-ed probably expressed delight in finding a Talbot's original! (Not to lay blame on a Kappa or Tri Delt!)

In more recent years, the Talbot's catalogue has become a personal test. Whenever I fear I may be a compulsive shopper or at least sartorially obsessed, I peruse through a catalogue and find nothing I am itching to buy. Generally speaking, this exercise has involved the Talbot's, Chico's, or J. Jill.

Yet, I will always hold a soft spot in my heart for Talbot's, Greenwich, Connecticut, and lime green wrap skirts....

Rest in peace, Nancy Talbot!

Healthcare Protester Gives Finger!

In the truth is stranger than fiction category, Wednesday evening, an opponent of President Obama's healthcare reform package had his finger bitten off by a protester from the other side of the fence. Demonstrators from MoveOn.org and Code Pink, Women for Peace, gathered in Thousand Oaks, California in a pre-Labor Day rally to show support for universal healthcare.

William Rice, 65, of Newbury Park, was driving by and stopped to see if the groups were protesting the military. Mr. Rice's son is an officer in the Marine Corps and he strongly opposes government involvement except when it comes to the military.

Rice reportedly got into a heated argument with a member of Code Pink. According to sheriff's department spokesman Captain Ross Bofiglio, an unidentified man confronted Rice, calling him names. Sticks and stones.

“When he got in my personal space, I popped him in the nose. I felt like I had no choice other than to defend myself," commented Rice in a phone interview.

The two men started a fight which ended with Rice losing part of his pinky finger to his opponent's chomp. Rice drove himself to the local hospital where he was treated under Medicare. Unfortunately, the finger could not be reattached. Police are still looking for the biter, but don't have plans to arrest him at this time.

This is one case where a man's bark may not be worse than his bite!

BO Ban on Buses?

Body Odor. Public Transportation. These two elements go hand in hand, like peanut butter and jelly. Fries and ketchup. Coffee and cream.

Today, the Honolulu City Council heard a bill in committee seeking to "regulate a number of dangerous and annoying behaviors on city buses" which includes B.O. Authored by Councilmen Rod Tam and Nestor Garcia, the bill would carry up to $500 in fines and a possible jail term of up to six months for these olfactory offenders. The ban would make illegal to have "odors that unreasonably disturb others or interfere with their use of the transit system," regardless if their source is clothes, personal belongings, animals, or presumably armpits.

Now, I have spent many hours on the subways of New York and New Jersey Transit, mid-summer. The malingering aroma of body odor mixed with whatever these folks ate for lunch is enough to turn your stomach. Throw in a couple of flatulent riders and nausea ensues. However, isn't the whole aroma thing part of the experience? Like Starbuck's without the wafting scent of roasted espresso beans or Ray's Original Pizza without the whiff of garlic?

Does anyone remember the Smelly Car episode of Seinfeld when Elaine discovers a parking valet's lingering b.o. in Jerry's BMW? One of the funniest moments of television!

I think I may have a better solution than throwing all these offenders in jail. (And imagine prison guards working with all that body odor around them? They will probably go on strike for unfair working conditions!) Why don't the bus drivers pass out little samples of Secret or Ban? Unscented, of course! Maybe the Renuzit people can invent some kind of bus sanitizer.... Or Public Transit Febreze?

I will be following the outcome of this story. And I am wondering what the other "dangerous and annoying" behaviors entail? What about burping loudly, passing wind, picking one's nose?

And we were worried about the Patriot Act!

BEWARE OF CAPS!

In the milieu of e-mails, texts, and IM's, CAPS are the equivalent of screaming fire in a crowded theater. Yelling across an upscale dining room to a long lost friend. Public screaming matches.

Vicki Walker, an employee of New Zealand's ProCare Health actually lost her job for her missives to fellow employees, which she wrote in red, bold, and cap fonts. Apparently, her co-workers missed the boat on following directions when filling out forms. Perhaps she could have added a few smiling emoticons or that cute little less than sign followed by a 3 to look like a heart? Some xoxoxoxo's to soften the blow?

Vicki won her wrongful termination case. Perhaps, her mood has shifted and she will revert to lower case letters in a pretty blue.
Personally, I have tales from less tech saavy women who gone CAP-happy, unaware of the implication. Maybe there needs to be a rule book about PC politeness and Mac Manners? Let's start out with a couple of pointers.

1. CAPS imply you are hopping mad or at least hot under the collar. The equivalent of shouting and screaming, no matter the message. And unless you are emphasizing a point, lose the bold face or rainbow effect of switching colors mid-message.

2. Save the heavy hand with emoticons for those under the age of 13. This is kind of like the social equivalent of wearing a message t-shirt reading "I'm With Stupid" with an arrow pointing to the right or "My Parents Went to Vegas and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt."

3. Unless you are planning to overthrow the PTA or go in on a birthday gift, there's really no need to hit Reply All. Especially since most of us are on Blackberry's or i-phones. Do we all need to know you got the message? 24/7!

4. Enough with all those flowery e-mails to show everyone how much they are loved or some lame joke which we have seen a few dozen times. Ditto all those e-mails telling us to add our name to some online petition. I am an activist by nature but until you've checked it out on Snopes.com.

5. As tempting as it is, don't write an e-mail you wouldn't send. All it takes if for one person to inadvertently hit Send and your message is sent into Cyberspace. Wars have been fought over less!

I realize I am probably preaching to the choir. But feel free to add a few smiley faces and forward to your friends who aren't as tech saavy as you! Just don't use all CAPS!

Insolia, Where Science Meets Sexy!

Despite its title, Shoenogomy, this blog has transitioned to the realm of social and cultural commentary with an occasional nod to fashion and footwear.

As I spend quite a bit of my free time researching online, I occasionally come across a product which commands my attention enough to try it out. In "In Style", I first read about Insolia High Heel Inserts. By my bio, you know I have a "predilection for heels." Necessity is the mother of invention and probably more than a few online purchases.

The brainchild of world renowned podiatrist Dr. Howard Dananberg and two MIT alums, Brian G.R. Hughes and Paul Rudovsky, Insolia transfers weight from the ball of the foot back to the heel by "placing the foot in the optimal position for high heels."

As Hughes explains, "about 25 percent of the weight that would have slid down to the toe remains back at the heel. Cupping the heel increases the contact area and reduces the peak force by 50 percent. It creates the very strong illusion that you are wearing a heel that is about half the height of the one you are actually wearing."

Insolia, constructed from an anti-bacterial material, are transparent, allowing your designer labels to show through. These are not your mother's Dr. XYZ. If this new technology, pegged by the company website as "where science meets sexy" did the job, I was willing to risk my four-inch Louboutin's. I followed the simple instructions, inserted in my Prive pumps, and voila! I slid on my heels and wore comfortably for three hours!

Insolia Inserts can be used with any kind of heel, from pumps to wedges; stilettos to peep toes. The inserts are sold by shoe size and, as they are not transferable from shoe to shoe, are available in packages of three.

As soon as I am finished writing this blog, I intend to purchase at least two more sets so all my heels will be covered!

And if you act now...

Thanks to company president Michael Backler, President of Insolia/HBN Shoe LLC, all Shoenogomy readers will receive 10% off their order! Simply enter coupon code shoenogomy when placing your order!

The Insolia website is http://insolia.com/

I'd love to hear your comments!