Footprints on Our Hearts

During a recent trip to a craft store, I browsed through the cellophane-covered posters one might hang in a dorm room. Usually maudlin quotations in a cursive font, backgrounds awash in pastel drawings of flowers or waves washing the shore. The kind found in Pier One, Michael's or Cost Plus. One poster caught my eye. While the lack of artistic sensibilities prevented me from a purchase, I copied the text on my cellphone.


“Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people move our souls to dance. They awaken us to a new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom. Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same.”
- Flavia Weedn

These passage spoke to me as I reconnect with friends from the past and spend time with my more recently acquainted friends. What a gift to spend time with the people in our lives who move our souls to dance!

Recently, during my trip to New York, I dined with several inspiring friends who have all left "footprints" on my heart.

I shared dinner and lychee martini's with my very first friend from childhood. We met when I was two and she was one. Our parents were close friends. We spent countless Saturday nights at sleepovers, watching "Love Boat" and "Fantasy Island." She always had an almost obsession for "Mash," "Mutiny on the Bounty," horses, and fried shrimp. My friend has experienced more than her share of trials and tribulations but has come out a strong, resilient person. Her focus and resolve are unparalleled. She is an accomplished executive, always planning interesting trips and experiences for herself and her daughter. I am so proud of the woman she has become. She inspires me to set goals and rise to meet them. She will always hold a place in my heart.

A second friend is also a first cousin. She was born when I was fourteen and I moved away when she was just eleven. My cousin who has also become a close friend did live in Los Angeles for a few years before moving back to New York. Spending a day alone with her gave me the chance to share confidences and examine our families and background. My cousin has grown to become a phenomenal woman She is the type of person who puts everyone at ease. Like all of us, her life has given her challenges. She has always worked on herself, becoming a strong, insightful woman. I am also so proud of the woman she has become. I love her very much.

During my trip, I had dinner with one of my mother's best friends and her daughter. As I had spent quite a bit of time in my mother's office, where she worked alongside her friend, I have always considered her to be a friend. It was almost surreal to spend time alone with her as an adult, as a peer. She and my mother took walks every day, sharing confidences and laughs. Remembering my mother with someone else who loved her and misses her touched my heart. My friend's daughter has always been like a younger sister. Now that we are both mothers,sharing interests and experiences, we have also renewed our relationship. She is a beautiful, compassionate, caring mother and daughter. I am proud of her, as well! (There is a Yiddish word for this overflowing emotion! Kvelling!)

I visited with two of my aunts whom I have always regarded as my friends and older sisters. Throughout my life, they have served as confidantes. My aunts have always regarded me as a mini-adult, treating me with respect and never second guessing me. They have given me the confidence to fill my life with new experiences and to love myself. When I was a child, my mother's younger sister introduced me to women's lib, the Beatles, and meditation. My father's younger sister brought into my life "The Red Balloon," nose glasses, and the ability to find humor in any situtation. They have both had an immeasurable influence on my personality!

Through Facebook, I have become reacquainted with two high school classmates. In high school, we shared casual conversation. Our friendships developed as adults are a windfall. Almost like opening a wrapped gift found in the back of a closet and finding a valuable gem. These friends are bright, stimulating, and compassionate people. I have always been more attracted to people who don't spend life going through the motions. I prefer people who constantly learn, grown, evolve, and challenge themselves.

One of these friends has always been an extremely talented writer and brilliant poet. He creates stunning, thought-provoking landscapes from words on a page. He can be so profound yet is also a gifted wit. His creativity and hilarity will never be surpassed! The kind of person you meet once in a lifetime. An amazing friend, he has blown away a dark cloud which was blocking my creativity and my writing. I will cherish this friend forever. He is the prize in the Cracker Jack box, a winning Lotto ticket, a found penny, heads up. (I must kvell over him, too!)

During my high school years, when "The Official Preppy Handbook" was my personal bible, my deskmate was competition! We showed up to Honors History in our khakis and monogrammed sweaters, penny loafers or Topsiders. Kilts and headbands. Last week, as I shared Turkish food and red wine with my friend and her husband in a New York restaurant, I was so inspired to get to know the incredible woman she has become! (And neither of us wore a kilt nor penny loafers!) My friend who has lived and studied internationally, holds graduate and law degrees. Presently, she spends her days collecting letters written by Jews who perished in the concentration camps which she hopes to publish. She is inspired by her grandparents who, during Hitler's reign or terror, helped save countless Dutch Jews from meeting their demise in the camps. My friend was deeply influenced by her grandparents who had taught her doing the right, ethical thing by helping others is not an option but a responsibility. I am touched by her passion for her work and for her commitment to others.


My two high school friends and I were classmates in our Honors History class where we recreated the Constitutional Convention and wrote business plans. Our teacher, Mr. Wagner, was fond of the 1940's era adage, "There's no such thing as a free lunch," a phrase popular with science fiction fans and libertarians. We will always remember him quoting this philospophy as he taught us economic theory. Mr. Wagner was indoubtedly one of the most inspiring teachers of our academic careers. Perhaps, he lit a flame within us which we have not allowed to extinguish. In reestablishing our relationships, my friends and I continue to fan each other's flames.


Blessed is the influence of one true, loving human soul on another. (George Eliot)
Doubly blessed is the influence of more than one soul.

Cherished Friendships

As I wind down my week on the East Coast, reconnecting with family and dear friends, I reflect on ideas shared over coffee, lunch, dinner, and cocktails.

Meeting with high school classmates, I am brought instantly back to the late 70s. We may be a bit older and have had interesting experiences, but it is like no time has passed. I am so blessed to have these friends in my life but am a bit saddened that I waited so long to get to truly know them. However, I am mindful that we don't really know ourselves until we reach our 40s.

Earlier in the office center of my hotel, I overheard two twenty-something girls wish they could go back to high school. Most people, when asked, would rather have a root canal than go back to high school. Sometimes, I think I would love a do-over, a chance to go back to high school knowing what I know now. Perhaps that is why I have the desire to impart my children with my new found wisdom! But, some lessons need to be learned first-hand.

Our high school years are spent figuring out our identities and struggling with Calculus, acne, or a goofy grin. We are worried nobody likes us yet we may not even like ourselves. The four brief years spent in high school may not seem critical or life-altering until years later, as we attend reunions or turn the pages of our now dated yearbooks. We may not realize at the time, but the shared experiences of our teen years do inspire a close bonding. Classmates who may not even have spoken much outside of class may become close friends as adults.

As an idealist, I tend to form unattainably high expectations for most of my experiences. I expected high school to be John Hughes film with all the warm fuzzies or at least a cute guy in a red Porsche coming to take me away. I enjoyed my time spent learning, laughing with friends, chatting about our crushes or what we would wear. I wish I had slowed down and paid more attention to each moment. At my high school graduation, I remember becoming tearfully aware that this part of my life had passed. But, as this week has proven to me, you can go home again.